How To Start & Grow Conversations
My most recent posts have reviewed language development, so now is a good time to talk about how kiddos can use their language skills in socially appropriate ways to build relationships.
Start with a simple greeting and politeness marker. For example, “Hi, I’m Sara. How are you?”
After sharing some basic facts use ice-breaker questions. For instance, “What’s your favorite game?” Sometimes children with highly preferred topics benefit from practice that incorporates their interests. For example, if your child enjoys unicorns, you prompt them with “What’s a question you can ask others about unicorns?”, and they come up with something like “Can you draw a unicorn?” Practicing in role-play scenarios can help them be prepared for a variety of answers (e.g., “I don’t know, never tried”) and more receptive to responses that deviate from the topic (e.g., “It’s fun racing cars!”).
Once the conversation is cooking kids can ask open-ended questions to learn more about others. Questions that require longer answers than “Yes” or “No” are a great way to keep interactions flowing. Listening to another’s questions and then answering is just as important, so be sure to emphasize that conversations are about sharing, taking turns, and repairing breakdowns many, many times.
Icebreakers and open-ended questions often lead to common ground, which is usually the most rewarding part of conversations. Kids are excited to share their interests, and when two children discover common ground they are intrinsically motivated to share ideas, play together, and problem solve – which are the building blocks of colorful conversations.
Using social skills successfully is a never-ending process. How children use their vocabulary and grammar in turn-taking exchanges to communicate with others is a skill that grows with practice, practice, practice.
