How to Support Your Child’s Social Development
Some adults think children are just small versions of themselves, and some adults understand that children are continually, slowly developing. The latter perspective is important to keep in mind when promoting children’s social skills.
If your child has difficulty using social norms for their age, there are simple things you can do to help them right now.
Start each day by reviewing a visual schedule. For example, you may draw a cereal bowl for breakfast, toothbrush for brushing teeth, shoes for getting dressed, car for ride to school, book for school, car for pick up from school, blocks for play time, casserole for dinner, rubber duck for bath, and bed for sleep routine.
Use a visual timer (my favorite is Mouse Timer) to prepare your kiddo for the end of activities. For instance, once dinner is almost ready you can say “You get to play for three more minutes before we put toys away and eat” and set the timer, leaving it in a place where your child can see or hear it.
Model and prompt the desired social skill(s). One of my clients hits peers when they hold the door open for her because she likes to open the door. So, in our therapy sessions we practice holding the door open for each other (turn taking) and saying “Thank you” (politeness marker). Discussion and practice on a regular basis helps to change behavior over time.
Make simple social stories (see my 11/22/24 blog post). Pictures and words with a beginning, middle, and end are another way to model preferred social acts, discuss their importance, and visualize the change and the positive impacts.
Utilize video self-modeling, which has great efficacy. Record your child demonstrating the social skill you are targeting across tasks, settings, and communication partners. Then edit clips together so the video shows your kiddo doing something that may be hard or not feel natural over and over again. Practicing in person, in a story, and in a video helps to make the learning stick.
Provide lots of opportunities for play with others. Learning is all about trying, failing, and succeeding again and again. So make sure your kiddo has chances to play with others every day. Maybe it’s ten minutes of play with you, where you follow their lead. Or maybe it’s ensuring they are interacting with peers at recess.
Consistency is key. It’s so important I’m going to say it again. Consistency is key to promoting social skills and the cognitive foundations of sharing, turn-taking, emotional management, perspective taking, and grey thinking.
